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Rone John

About Rone John

https://greatrelationshipsu.com

Rone John is a distinguished figure in the realm of relationship and personal development, bringing a diverse and unique background to his role as the author of Relationships 101 and head trainer at Great Relationships University. His expertise is drawn from over a decade of experience in various interconnected fields. As a former professional Dominatrix, Rone has an exceptional understanding of human psychology, intimacy, and the dynamics of power and trust within relationships. This experience has endowed him with deep insights into the complexities of human interactions and the nuances of communication. Rone is also renowned as the owner and operator of the country's leading tantra massage company, recognized for its excellence possibly on both a national and global scale. This role underlines his profound commitment to exploring and enhancing both physical and emotional intimacy, fundamental elements of healthy relationships. With more than 13 years of experience as a dating and relationships consultant, Rone has dedicated his career to assisting individuals and couples in navigating the intricate landscape of modern dating and partnerships. His approach is characterized by empathy, understanding, and a strong focus on personal growth, which is evident in his innovative and impactful training methods. Rone's multifaceted background and his ability to integrate various disciplines into his teachings make him an invaluable leader at Great Relationships University. His courses are more than educational; they are transformative, leading learners on a journey of self-discovery, empowerment, and significant relationship improvement.

Posts by Rone John :

Long haired man and red haired woman fantasy novel allure

OLNR Bible: Mastering Unconditional Love & Open Communication, Chapter 2: Foundations Of OLNR

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I. Unconditional Love

“Unconditional Love,” as defined in OLNR is one’s genuine desire and wanting for their beloved’s happiness, well-being and actualization. Thus, clearly defined as the following:

  • “Genuine desire” is the intrinsic and sincere wish for, out of the natural byproduct of love. It’s an earnest wanting without requisite for it to be reciprocated. It demonstrates itself naturally without obligation, pretense, or effort.
  • “Actualization” is the becoming into fruition of one’s wants, goals or desires.

Conditional Vs. Unconditional Love

Unconditional love is love one maintains for another without adding stipulations outside of their personhood. Adding stipulations for love to be given is a conditional type of love.

Unconditional Love In Practice

Behaviors that prevent another from their pursuing their desire, well-being and actualization are demonstrations of lack of love. 

The “lack of love” notion exists because though love may exist, one’s personal requisites or insecurities are insurmountable.

Examples of these behaviors that prohibit another’s pursuit of happiness and actualization are things like jealousy and possessiveness.

What does demonstrate unconditional love are, by definition, things that show you genuinely desire, want, and support what makes them happy, fulfilled and actualized – regardless of whether you’re involved.

i.e. supporting their personal goals, encouraging their aspirations, offering assistance, celebrating and acknowledging achievements, actively listening, validating their emotions, honoring their choices, respecting their autonomy, encouraging their growth, facilitating opportunities, etc.

This “genuine” part plays a key role as it requires no effort to demonstrate love if it’s genuine. “Showing” of love that requires effort is a result of disingenuity and is questionable and warrants scrutiny.

II. Nonjudgmental Acceptance

Nonjudgmental Acceptance is the appreciation that each person is an individual and insisting on their individualism without criticism or prejudice. 

While partners may engage in agreements, contracts and obligations, must recognize their individual wants, desires and preferences as first-considered and therefore must involve clauses so no parties are in the relationship based on toleration.

Toleration is the arrogance one presumes to allow something to occur despite their not liking the behavior. It’s a juxtaposition to the notion of acceptance wherein while toleration is one’s dislike for that behavior therefore having to tolerate it, acceptance is being at peace with their personhood and judgments against it.

Determinism and Compassion

Our thoughts, feelings, actions and the resulting behaviors and circumstances are the inevitable results of a complex interplay between genetics, neurobiology, and environmental influences that are beyond our conscious control.

  • Biological Determinism – we’re predominantly shaped by our genetics and developmental processes which result in our neurochemical configuration, hormonal profiles/fluctuations, and brain circuitry that all influence our behaviors.
  • Environmental Influence – our upbringing, cultures, and social interactions mold our perceptions and reactions. Trauma, education, and societal norms significantly contribute to how we think and act.
  • Lack of Free Will – since we have no control over any of the things that shape us right down to our brain configuration, neuronal activities, hormonal profiles, environmental influences, all down to the millisecond when we manufacture decisions, our behaviors are predetermined by everything preceding it.

The nonjudgmental acceptance that each individual comes with their sets of circumstances, very little or none of which they’ve no control, allows you deep compassion in appreciation of the other person as entirely individual.

Intoleration

Nonjudgmental Acceptance requires ‘intolerance.’ This is not to say “unaccepting.” To be intolerating is to not be tolerant in the relationship. Nonjudgmental acceptance makes it clear that either one is wholly accepting or intolerating. This means the things one accepts, one does so wholly and completely. The things one doesn’t accept neither requires their participation nor the expectation of collaboration.

III. Open Communication

Open communication is the facility of each party’s ability to communicate openly without fear of emotional blackmail, psychological or emotional punishment. 

1. Facilitating Each Party’s Ability to Communicate Openly

  • Facility refers to the ease and readiness which communication can occur. This implies that communication is open, accessible, and encouraged.
  • “Each party’s ability…” emphasizes the [active] encouragement of practicing fearless, worry-free, nonjudgmentally accepted communication and expression.
  • “Communicate Openly” means to ‘commune’ – to share thoughts, feelings, desires, concerns, experiences honestly and transparently, without withholding information or resorting to deception.

Every party should feel comfortable and empowered to speak their mind freely. Open communication is not just about talking. It’s about creating an environment where transparent dialogue is the norm, and everyone feels safe to express themselves without hesitation.

2. Without Fear of Emotional Blackmail

  • Fear indicates an emotional barrier that inhibits open communication. If individuals are afraid of negative consequences, they’re less likely to share openly.
  • Emotional Blackmail is a manipulative tactic where someone uses guilt, fear, obligation, or threats to control another person’s behavior or decisions. 

It’s crucial that partners can communicate without worrying that their honesty will be used against them. They shouldn’t fear that sharing their true feelings will lead to manipulation, coercion, or guilt-tripping. The absence of emotional blackmail ensures that all parties can be authentic without apprehension. 

3. Without Fear of Psychological or Emotional Punishment

  • Psychological Punishment includes actions that harm an individual’s mental well-being such as gaslighting, shaming, or undermining their self-esteem.
  • Emotional Punishment refers to responses that cause emotional distress such as the silent treatment, withdrawal of affection, or explosive anger.

Open communication requires a safe space where partners know that expressing their thoughts and feelings won’t result in punitive reactions. They should not have to brace themselves for negative emotional consequences when they share openly.

Long haired man and red haired woman fantasy novel allure

OLNR Bible: Mastering Unconditional Love & Open Communication, Chapter 1: Introduction

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Introduction

Definition & Philosophy

OLNR is an acronym for Open Love Non-exclusive Relationship; a relationship based fundamentally on non-conditional love, and as a byproduct, having no requisite for exclusivity. 

What Makes OLNR Different

The most important and fundamental aspect of OLNR is unconditional love – love which requires no additional conditions for its existence.

This type of love is different from every other format of relationship which brings a lot of presumptions with the idea of love, most commonly ownership [from property].

Hence, ‘Open Love’ is juxtaposed to ‘closed relationships’, defined as relationships where neither parties may explore romantic or sexual relationships outside of their primary. 

In the context of OLNR, a closed relationship is based more on property (ownership and possessiveness behaviors as a byproduct) rather than love with how it’s defined:

“Love is your genuine desire and wanting for your beloved’s happiness, well-being and actualization.”

Therefore, anything which prohibits their pursuing their happiness and actualization regardless of their partner’s involvement or whether it’s on the same bed – i.e. jealousy, possessiveness, emotional blackmail, etc… are therefore demonstrations of lack of love.

We deeply hold that OLNR is the only format of relationship which can facilitate unconditional love, nonjudgmental acceptance, and open communication for these special reasons:

  1. Love is non-conditional. There are no added conditions on the relationship besides agreements and commitments individuals make after the fact. Individuals are in, and remain in, relationships because of love and no other obligations.
  2. Individuals can facilitate nonjudgmental acceptance – a dynamic between partners where they’re accepted entirely and completely for their individual characteristics, mannerisms and biologies. Neither parties ever have to pretend to be someone else.
  3. Open communication can be facilitated from this genuine dynamic of wanting for each other’s happiness and nonjudgmental acceptance. Partners can communicate completely transparently without fear of emotional or psychological punishment or blackmail.

Historical Context

Monogamy (one man to one woman), as the dominant form of relationship, is a very new phenomenon relative to our evolution. 

Robert Sapolsky, a renowned biologist, neuroscientist, and certified genius in his field, suggests that we humans are neither polygamous or monogamous by nature. We’re somewhere in the middle. Because of this, our ancestors engaged in many formats of relationships, including:

  • Polygyny: A form of polygamy where one male mates with multiple females. It has been a common practice in many cultures and is still observed in some societies today.
  • Polyandry: Less common than polygyny, this involves one female having multiple male partners. It has been practiced in certain societies, though it is relatively rare.
  • Promiscuity: In early human societies, individuals may have engaged in multiple sexual relationships without forming long-term bonds, which could be seen as a form of promiscuity or non-exclusive mating.
  • Pair-bonding: While not strictly monogamous, pair-bonding involved forming long-term partnerships for the purposes of raising offspring. This strategy allowed for cooperative parenting and resource sharing, which could enhance offspring survival.
  • Mate guarding and infidelity: Even within pair-bonded relationships, infidelity occurred, and strategies like mate guarding were employed to ensure paternity certainty.

These diverse relationship styles reflect the flexibility and adaptability of human mating strategies, influenced by environmental conditions, social structures, and evolutionary pressures. Over time, the development of agriculture and settled societies may have contributed to the rise of monogamy as a more dominant relationship style due to its benefits in terms of inheritance and social stability.

In other words, these relationship styles were practiced out of societal conventions and evolutionary pressures, instead of beginning from the premise of “love” as the central tenet of the relationship. 

By instituting the 3 pillars of OLNR in your relationships, ensures the driving mechanism for the relationship dynamic is unconditional love.

Benefits Of OLNR

Because OLNR is clearly defined as a relationship format based on unconditional love and the arrangements resulting from that (rather than affection resulting from arrangements and obligations), there is no mistaking that OLNR is a relationship style compatible with those wanting to base their relationship on love.

Authenticity & Nonjudgmental Acceptance

You can communicate honestly without fear of repercussions, emotional punishment or psychological blackmail. You can be yourself. In fact, individuality is not only encouraged but insisted. Arrangements and commitments are agreed upon on a case by case basis instead of obligations being presumed. 

Freedom & Personal Growth

There’s no limitations imposed within the relationship. Growth of each person is facilitated and supported whether or not partners are involved. Involvement of people in the relationships strictly exist because it merits its existence. There are no partners to remain in relationships out of obligation.

Freedoms are not only facilitated but insisted. This freedom and genuine desire for love for persons in the relationship facilitates their personal growth and development in every aspect of their life because there are no “growth lid” in the organization [of 2, or 3, or 4, etc].

Fulfillment & Emotional Satisfaction

Having no imposed limitations out of obligation facilitates each person’s fulfillment and emotional satisfaction by exploration and personal growth to pursue their actualization. 

Exploring the Benefits of Open Relationships: A Guide to Unconditional Love and Ethical Partnerships

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Understanding Open Relationships

An open relationship is a relationship that’s not closed in any way, especially when it comes to love. You might even consider it open love. The truth is, it’s about unconditional love—your genuine desire and wanting for your beloved’s happiness, well-being, and actualization.

Some common misconceptions about open relationships are that they’re the same as polyamory. Actually, polyamory is a closed relationship. A polyamorous relationship is closed because, while you have multiple partners, you are not encouraged to pursue things that you find fulfilling, enjoyable, or thrilling, whether it’s an activity or a person.

The ethical considerations for open relationships involve recognizing what constitutes a good relationship. A good relationship is determined by its constituents. What I mean is that what’s good in a relationship depends solely on the purpose of that relationship. My contention is that if you’re an individual who presumes the relationship you’re in is about love, then you have to found your relationship based on love. Unfortunately, this is not the case for most people. Most people base their relationships on property without knowing it. They simply follow societal expectations or whatever they’ve been taught.

The Fundamentals of Good Relationships

Let’s define what a good relationship is. A good relationship is one that’s founded and adheres to the purpose of that relationship. For example, if you are marrying for the benefits of marriage, including recognizing that marriage is not about love, but about real estate, childbearing, networking, etc., and you don’t have cognitive dissonance—meaning you don’t want love or expect love in the relationship—then for you, it’s a good relationship.

Challenges in Traditional Relationships

The challenge of entering a relationship is that most people do so unwittingly. People don’t know what they’re getting into when they get into relationships. It’s like signing a 100-page contract without knowing what you’re signing. This is a very appropriate comparison. People go into relationships not knowing what they’re entering. This is why my course exists.

People don’t recognize that marriage is actually an arranged relationship. It’s arranged in the sense that you are making arrangements, signing contracts, and basing your relationship on those conditions.

Facilitating Unconditional Love

It’s very important for you to recognize what unconditional love is. Unconditional love is love without conditions. For example, a mother loves her child unconditionally because despite their lifestyle or whatever they might do—whether it’s ethical or unethical, attractive or unattractive, even heinous—she may still love them unconditionally. A lot of people don’t believe unconditional love exists, but it does. By my definition, unconditional love is your genuine desire and wanting for your beloved’s happiness intrinsically tied to your own happiness. What does that mean? Just as the most important thing for you is your own happiness, you want that for them.

Practical Steps to Support Open Relationships

Here are some action items for you to have fulfilling open relationships.

  1. Communicate with your beloved candidly and openly. Tell them that you believe in open communication and that unconditional love is your genuine wanting for their happiness, well-being, and actualization. Support them in whatever makes them feel fulfilled and happy, regardless of whether or not you’re involved.

  2. Empower and equip your beloved to pursue what makes them feel fulfilled, happy, and actualized. Doing the opposite demonstrates that you don’t actually love them unconditionally.

  3. Make it clear that you will not emotionally, physically, or psychologically manipulate or punish them after the fact.

By following these steps, you can foster a more supportive and loving relationship.

What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments! Share this blog post with others and help make the world a better place for all of us!

3 Ways To Make Your Life Worthwhile

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Because of the number of suicides from last year in the adult industry, I shot a video on – ‘3 Ways To Make Life Worthwhile‘.
 
I saw an entertainer’s post where he said instead of accepting his award, he mentioned the names of all the suicides from last year, and it took him 5 minutes. That’s a lot of names. Though 1 is too many, here’s some ways to reframe ‘life’ because these are what people miss out on. Life, in fact, can be so incredible no-matter the stage you’re in.
 

1. Categorize your income into 3 parts: 

***(1). I didn’t mean for that to look like a pussy with a protruding engorged clitoris… anyway, (1) is IMMEDIATE INCOME.
 
This is income you can use now. Take accountability on what your liabilities are (expenditures i.e. bills, luxury expenses, etc) and what your income(s) are. Taking account (being accountable) is important as it let’s your brain measure where you are without escapism.
 
***(2). INTER-IMMEDIATE INCOME (medium-term income): income that’s not necessary or utilized immediately but put off as surplus (or capital) as either to be used later or to be invested for the 3rd income-category.
 
***(3). LONG-TERM INCOME: income that can be relied upon to produce with longevity in mind. These are things like assets which retain value and produce value in the future – i.e. long-term businesses, investments that increase in appreciation, brands, real estate, etc.
 
This mindset is important because most people do not have a delineation (budgeting) of their income when they make a big amount and have nothing to show for it later in their lives.
 

2. Appreciate what it means to be a “professional.”

 
A professional is someone who’s so good at what they do or offer, people would gladly trade their money for their product or service.
 
Recognize that any personal development you do IS professional development.
 
Remember, a professional is someone who provides a product or service well…. which goes to say, the better you are at providing that product or service, the better you are as a business.
 
Change your perspective on “business ownership.” While you do own a business, don’t forget, YOU are THE business. A philosopher once said it correctly in a rap song, “I’m not a businessman. I’m a business, man.” ~Jay Z.
 

3. Recognize the two lies your parents or guardians taught you as a kid:

 

****(Lie 1): “For you to get what you want, you have to sacrifice.”

 
The truth is, everything you do has a cost.
 
In other words, your doing one thing makes it so you can’t do another thing. (My writing this post makes it so I can’t play table tennis right now, etc).
 
ANY endeavor you’re in, you can do it enjoying every aspect of because the outcome of it is something you’d like.
 

****(Lie 2): “Once you reach your goal, you’ll be happy.”

 
The truth is, you can be happy now! – on the way to working at getting the thing you would like!
 
Because, happiness is a CHOICE, just the same way as you could be in the same exact wonderful situation with someone and still their even being in a better situation, and find them miserable because they’ve found SOME reason to BE miserable (a choice).
 
So to wrap it up in a tight little bow (or jute rope for some of you fetishists), endeavor in fulfilling the 3 aspects of your income, immediate, inter-immediate, and long-term incomes. Budget appropriately and persistently. CHOOSE to be happy NOW on the road to getting what you’d like in life. And recognize that ANY and ALL attempts you make, so long as you do not stop making attempts, IS a success!
 
And please share this message with those in our industry 🥰

What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments! Share this blog post with others and help make the world a better place for all of us!

One Night Stands, What To Do

What I Do With One-Night Stands: The Surprising Philosophy That Changed My Love Life

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Introduction to One-Night Stands and Personal Philosophy

At some point in your life, you’re going to find yourself in a one-night stand. What’s your philosophy about one-night stands? What’s your protocol? In other words, what’s your mindset? What do you think about it, and what do you do in that situation? Do you have a protocol in mind for when you find yourself in that situation? I’ll share mine with you and see what you can implement in your life and how you can navigate that situation more effectively.

Video transcript:

Understanding One-Night Stands

A one-night stand is a situation that could be romantic and is certainly sexual, where you have an encounter with somebody without presuming you’ll continue a relationship with that person. Typically, it refers to having sex with someone one time and then forgetting about them, without the expectation of building a relationship with them.

My Stance on One-Night Stands

I don’t have one-night stands. Let me share with you why, and let me share my philosophy and protocol for one-night stands. I’m certainly a person with the recognition and relationship style where I can afford and partake in a lot of one-night stands, much more than other people. So let me share what I do in that situation.

The Intimacy Model of Relationships

Why don’t I have one-night stands? The reason is, firstly, I follow the intimacy model of relationships. I’ll explain what that is in a few seconds, but essentially, it’s not worthwhile for me. I have enough experience and am jaded enough to recognize that it’s a waste of my time to interact with someone without the presumption of building a relationship or friendship with them.

Building Meaningful Connections

Let me put that in different words. I don’t have one-night stands because why would I waste my time getting to know somebody and only interact with them once? It’s not worth my time. I can be interacting with more meaningful relationships. Do you understand? I look to interact with people meaningfully because I live my life meaningfully.

Redefining Intimacy and Relationships

It’s not that I don’t have inhibitions or that I don’t have sex with somebody the first time I meet them; I do that a lot. It’s that I don’t waste my time with somebody with the presumption that I’ll have sex with them and then not build a relationship with them. However, it also doesn’t mean that just because I have sex with somebody, they’re going to be in a traditional relationship with me.

The Practice of First-Night Stands

Sex with somebody doesn’t equate to a relationship, but it is certainly the beginning of a relationship, whatever that looks like for me and them, for our particular dynamic as individuals. To make this even clearer, let me share my intimacy model of relationships. I go deep into the intimacy model and all my protocols for it in my course, “Successful Open Relationships & Polyamory.” It’s available via a link in my bio.

Developing Intimacy and Significance in Relationships

The intimacy model begins with the presumption that intimacy, the accurate definition, is how well you know the person. It’s not about being sensual, romantic, or sexual, as most people define it. When someone tells you, “You’re not intimate enough,” or asks about the kind of intimacy you have in a relationship, and you’re confused about what that means, consider this: intimacy is about how well you know the person, whether it’s personally, psychologically, historically, or physically, as in without clothes on, or sexually.

Choosing First-Night Stands Over One-Night Stands

So, with this definition, the way I operate my relationships and build my protocols is based on how well I know the person. Presumably, when I meet a new person, I understand that I don’t know much about them, and I’m going to get to know them the more I spend time with them. I begin to build intimacy during that time.

The Protocol for Building Meaningful Relationships

Why don’t I have one-night stands? Because I don’t have one-night stands; I have first-night stands. I don’t operate by interacting with people with the presumption that I won’t build a friendship or intimacy with them. Remember, intimacy is how well I get to know the person. We build more intimacy the more we get to know each other.

Adopting a Friendship-First Approach

As we build intimacy, they either become more significant or less significant based on how well I get to know them and our dynamic interaction. I’ll learn whether they become more significant or less significant, whether or not we have sex. For example, if we have sex and I like them as a person, they become more significant. If it turns out they’re not that interesting or they have some off-putting behavior, they become less significant.

Conclusion and Call to Action

So, what’s a protocol you can adopt? How can you think about this moving forward from now on, learning this philosophy? Make friends. Begin with the presumption that you’re going to make friends with people. Some of them will become significant to you, and some of that significance will be sexual, whether it’s the first night or sometime in the future. Make friends with people, get to know them as individuals. There’s no point in wasting your time getting to know somebody with the presumption you’re not going to continue getting to know them if they’re not more significant.

That’s the reason why I don’t have one-night stands. I only have first-night stands because I presume I’m going to continue the relationship if they become more significant to me. Share in the comments below if you have any questions or message me, and I’ll see you in the next video. Bye-bye. Share this with others; you’re helping make the world a better place for all of us.

What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments! Share this blog post with others and help make the world a better place for all of us!

Shocking Truths Revealed: How to Banish Jealousy and Transform Your Love Life Forever

Shocking Truths Revealed: How to Banish Jealousy and Transform Your Love Life Forever

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The Paradox of Love and Jealousy

Is it possible to have a relationship without jealousy? Now, I recognize that this question may not make sense to a lot of people because many presume that a relationship, presumably about love, has to have jealousy; otherwise, do you really love that person?

Video transcript:

So, I’ll give you an analogy of how that makes sense to some people. It might make sense to you in this way: that question is like asking somebody who’s afraid of heights if it’s possible for them to jump off of a plane with a bag of silk on their back and trust that the bag will open up when they need it, when they pull the lever. I recognize that’s difficult. They might believe it’s impossible, but recognize that a lot of things, say, there are a lot of things in your life, most everything in your life, you once did not know how to do. I want you to think about that. There was a time in your life when a lot of things that you now take for granted or never even think about, you once did not know how to do, and in fact, a lot of it, you had a tremendous fear of doing. Let me give you an example: There was a time in your life when you didn’t know how to drive. Isn’t that crazy? Can you imagine not knowing how to drive? Well, you once were that person. Now, you don’t even think about it. You can’t even imagine yourself not being able to drive; it’s so first nature, so natural. It requires enlightenment; it requires a little bit of skill.

The Destructive Nature of Jealousy

So, this question: Is it possible to have a relationship without jealousy? It’s like asking a person who’s afraid of heights if it’s possible for them to jump off of a plane, trusting a bag of silk, and when they pull the lever, it’ll open up and land them safely. So, how do you enlighten yourself and get yourself to a point where a relationship has no jealousy? Firstly, why is it important to have a relationship with no jealousy? Why is it important? It’s because jealousy is heinous; it is evil. In fact, statistically, about 80 to 90% of murders committed are from jealousy. Think about that: 80 to 90% of murders committed from jealousy. So why is it so evil? Because jealousy is a compounded emotion of two emotions. It’s not a primary emotion; it’s a compounded emotion of fear of loss, compounded with the rage you feel from feeling that fear of loss. Once you get that combination going, you now have something called jealousy.

Challenging Societal Norms and Redefining Love

Now, why is jealousy so contradictory to love? I want you to think about this: A lot of people imagine that you can’t have love without jealousy. Let me ask you a question: Do you believe that those people believe that without question? In other words, they didn’t use critical thinking or critical reasoning to come to that conclusion. They just believe it’s supposed to be that way because that’s what society has taught us. So, I want you to ask yourself: Do you recognize what love is? First of all, do you want a relationship fundamentally based on loving that person? In other words, you have a relationship with that person because you love them.

The True Essence of Love and Its Incompatibility with Jealousy

Now, let’s say you want to build a relationship because you love them, so you want to make it fundamentally based on love, nothing else, just love. Now, this is not traditional. People imagine it is, but traditionally, relationships, partnerships with people, marriages between people, traditional boyfriend-girlfriend relationships are conventional; they are taught to you. This is how it’s supposed to be. It has nothing to do with love and everything to do with other things like real estate, property ownership, control, status, wealth, network building, a bigger and bigger network, passing on your land, your real estate, your wealth. You know, when you die, you bring nothing with you; you’ve got to pass it on somehow.

Defining Love on Your Own Terms

So, it’ll make more sense to you when I explain to you this: Love, by my definition, remember that words have no meaning. You have to give words meaning for them to have meaning, and everybody has different meanings, even in the most banal of words. Let me give you an example: Love. What’s your definition of love? I guarantee you, every person you ask what their definition of Love is, they’ll have a different definition. Here’s the best one: Love is your wanting for your beloved’s happiness intrinsic to your own, the same way of saying the same happiness you want for yourself, you want that for your beloved. Jealousy is a demonstration of your lack of love. You get it now, because if your beloved were to pursue something or someone that makes them happy, and then you feel jealousy and the rage from feeling that fear of loss, you are now preventing them or going to do something to prevent them, whether it’s consciously or unconsciously, from pursuing the things that make them happy. You understand? Your demonstration of jealousy is your demonstration of your lack of love. The more you love them, the more you want for their happiness. This is the enlightenment required for you to have relationships without jealousy.

Enlightenment and Self-Observation: The Path to a Jealousy-Free Relationship

I’ll end it here: Observe yourself when you feel jealousy, observe yourself when you feel the fear of loss, and then the rage you feel from that feeling. That fear of loss is what jealousy is. There is no such thing as jealousy without those two things.

What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments! Share this blog post with others and help make the world a better place for all of us!

Unveiling the Truth 3 Surprising Reasons Why an Open Relationship Might Be Your Path to True Love

Unveiling the Truth: 3 Surprising Reasons Why an Open Relationship Might Be Your Path to True Love

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Beyond the Myths: Embracing Unconditional Love and the Surprising Depth of Open Relationships

So, what are the main reasons that you would ever consider an open relationship? Most people, when they consider or think about an open relationship, immediately imagine it’s just a reason to fool around, for someone to not take responsibility, or for someone not to make any commitments in the relationship. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. I want to tell you the truth about open relationships and the reason why you should consider an open relationships.

Video transcript:

Number one reason why you should consider an open relationship is that you want in your relationship true unconditional love, not the falsity that love comes with, not all the fear and obligation that love comes with. The love, the “quote-unquote” love that society has taught you this is what love is supposed to be, but what actual love is. You imagine what love is: your genuine desire for that person to be with the person that they love, admire, and adore, and to want for their happiness, well-being, and gain whatever that person does and wants and desires in a relationship or in their life. You want that for them.

Redefining Commitment: How True Unconditional Love Transforms Relationships Beyond Jealousy and Ownership

Now, I said whatever that person wants in a relationship, the equation also includes you in it, so it would require what they want in the relationship and what you want in the relationship. When you conflate that and it’s enough for you to be in it, it’s enough to merit your being together for most of the time, if not a lot of the time, then it’s a wonderful item, a wonderful consideration for a relationship without all the bogosity that what a relationship is supposed to come with, such as a lot of the obligations society puts you in, a lot of jealousy, and ownership. Remember that ownership and love are completely different things; sometimes they’re antithetical. Ownership is not love, but I say that for a reason. Why do you have to mention that? It’s obvious. Actually, it’s not so obvious. Actually, a lot of people imagine that love comes with ownership. All you have to do is ask them, or look in their language, or look in how they communicate. If they imagine that jealousy equals love and ownership equals love, there’s something wrong there. They imagine that if you’re not jealous, then how can you actually truly love the person?

But you’re the kind of person who says, “Love is my genuine wanting for my beloved’s happiness, the same kind of happiness that I want for myself. I want that for her or for him.” They want to go to school abroad; how can I help? They want to go hang out with some friends that are attractive and beautiful, or that they could enjoy something that they may not enjoy with you; how can I help? Or for whatever reason, I have to leave the country for six months. I’m going to miss you, but I have to do this for myself, for my self-actualization. How can I help? Or, “I’m going to go hang out with a buddy of mine I haven’t seen in years, whom I’m tremendously attracted to. I would love to take to bed. We used to be a thing, and I kind of miss those times.” How can I help? Do you understand the unconditional love that says my wanting for my beloved’s happiness is intrinsically tied to my own happiness? What makes her happy, fulfilled, and actualized, I want that for her or for him. Unconditional love.

Escape the Pretense: Embrace the Liberating Power of Non-Judgmental Acceptance in Open Relationships

The second thing you want in a relationship, which is a reason you should consider an open relationship, is non-judgmental acceptance, your ability to be yourself in a relationship and stop having to pretend. The reason why people don’t get along in relationships is they constantly have to pretend. They constantly have to pretend to be someone that they imagine the person they’re with wants them to be. All parties, this is true for virtually all relationships, because virtually all relationships begin with the premise, “I grant myself to you exclusively in exchange for you granting yourself to me exclusively,” a business deal. They take each other for granted, and so stop having to pretend. Recognize from the outset that during the relationship, with non-judgmental acceptance, I accept you for who you are, and that you are going to be the person that you are. You’re going to be the man that you are, and you’re going to have man mannerisms and man interests, or you’re going to be the woman that you are, and you’re going to have woman mannerisms and woman interests, and woman biology and man biology. And you don’t have to assume that you don’t have to pretend you’re someone you’re not. You don’t have to pretend you have the biology that you don’t have. You don’t have to pretend you don’t have the desires that you do have. You can have the desires that you want. You can have the mannerisms that you have. You can be the person that you are entirely. I am non-judgmentally accepting. If I’m intolerant of those behaviors or a particular behavior, just don’t do it around me. It’s fine. I encourage you to pursue other people who you could be enjoying those things with. No one can fake a fetish. If you’re into something, go pursue it with other people. I’ll be here. I’ll be your best friend. We’ll be in a fantastic, wonderful relationship, a non-judgmental one, an unconditionally loving one, and an openly communicating one where if you’re pursuing something which I cannot provide, am not prepared to provide, and am not interested in, I encourage you to go out and find people who you could be spending time enjoying those things with. And I love you. Do you understand? Not just tolerance, but acceptance, allowing people to be the person they are so no one has to pretend.

Revolutionize Your Relationship: How Open Communication Can Shatter Lies and Unlock a Deeper Connection

Lastly, you want open communication. You don’t want all the lies, the bogosity, and the pretense in the relationship. You just want open and straightforward communication. You can communicate about anything because there’s no reason for you to hide anything. Do you understand what that means? It means, let’s give you a particular example. “Hey, baby, I saw this amazing gal or amazing guy. I met them, and they wanted to spend some time to get to know me, and I want to spend some time to get to know them. Is it okay if I go out tonight?” “Of course. Do you need a ride? Do you need a ride back? Do you have a safety device in case they’re not cool? Do we need a code so that I know that you’re safe? Send me your profile, send me their address just so I know where to pick you up if anything ever happens. Give me a call, and I’ll give you a ride back. How can I help? I love you, and I want for you to pursue things that you like that actualizes you. What are your safety precautions?” You understand. You want those three things: you want genuine unconditional love, you want nonjudgmental acceptance, no more pretending, and open communication, no more lying. You want those three things, and those three things just so happen to be only able to be facilitated in open relationships and no other format of relationships. If you have any questions, shoot me a comment or a message. I’ll talk to you in the next video and explain more of this. What that actually means is that these things can’t be facilitated in any other format of relationship.

What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments! Share this blog post with others and help make the world a better place for all of us!

How to control negative thoughts 3 ways to crush negativity

Control Negative Thoughts: 3 Revolutionary Steps to Crush Negative Thoughts and Transform Your Day

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Revealed: The Empathy Hack That Will Flip Your Negative Thoughts

Do you want to stop negative thinking or at least control it at the outset so you can go on and have a better day? Here’s how you go about it, but I want to divide it into three parts. The first part is to have empathy for people who have negative thoughts, who are basically negative around you. There’s a term some people use, calling people “Karen” or “Negative Nancy.” I want you to eschew that and change your perspective about negativity. Sometimes, negativity can be positive. 

Video transcript:

Remember that no one in their own minds is a villain. In their minds, they’re merely doing the best they can with what they have. That negative person you come across, you experience from day to day; they’re merely doing the best with what they have, just like you’re doing the best with what you have.

Oftentimes, the psychological tools they have are insufficient for them to enjoy life. Many people haven’t come across videos on personal psychological enlightenment and development or professional development.

My friend once said, “Your environment is doing more to you than you can do to it.” People, virtually everybody, cannot control their environment. In fact, it’s incredibly hard for you or me to control our environment despite our personal development and enlightenment. People are merely doing the best with what they have, and most people have insufficient resources. But remember, no one is a villain in their own minds; they’re merely reasoning out what’s best for them, what they imagine is a good thing for them and for you.

Maybe most people just imagine that they have to compete for scarce resources. But I want you to remember always that the more personally developed you are, the more you’re able to see opportunities around you.

The less scarce things are for you, the less scarce relationships and resources are in general for you. You have more opportunities because you have more resourcefulness. People are merely doing the best with what they have, and no one is a villain in their own minds, you understand.

Think You Can’t Control Your Thoughts? Discover the Mind-Bending Technique to Turn Chaos into Control

The second part is that there is no way to control your thoughts, your negative thoughts, or your positive thoughts at any one moment. Right now, and right now again, and right now again, you’re getting hundreds, if not thousands, of thoughts in any one moment, and you can’t control it. The bag can’t hold itself.

What does that mean? The bag, which holds your thoughts, cannot hold itself. You have to manage it. It’s about thought management rather than thought control. But in fact, if you do it for long enough, if you get good enough, your thought management can become thought control, mind control.

In fact, I teach mind control in my Great Relationships University course, links in my bio. So the bag can’t hold itself.

At any one moment, you have hundreds of thoughts, and it’s merely about what thought you put energy into, what thought you invest your energy into. You’re going to get negative thoughts, whether it’s from experience, perspective, whatever the case is, or whether it’s by hearsay, what other people thought or heard or taught you was the thing that’s supposed to occur. Negative things, negative thoughts will happen and will come up, hundreds of them, and there’ll also be positive thoughts.

It’s only about merely what you can reason out to be the most likely outcome, the most reasonable outcome, and then going based off that. You could even have negative thoughts and manage what you invest your energy into.

Transform Worry into Winning: Master the Art of State Control and Turn Your Mind into a Powerhouse of Positivity

The third thing, here’s how you manage your thoughts and eventually be able to control your thoughts if you get good enough.

It’s actually not about controlling thoughts; it’s about managing your state. It’s about state control. Again, I teach that in my Great Relationships University Course. Link in my bio. So how do you get to controlling your thoughts? Here’s how you go about it. Worry is the worst use of your imagination.

Worrying is something you do when there’s nothing you can do. Why do I say that? It’s because negative thoughts cause you to worry. It’s worry about the negative outcome. There are outcomes, whether that’s negative or positive, you can manage your state so that you can have a good outlook about it, have a positive outlook, have an appropriate outlook, and feel good nonetheless, whatever the outcome.

You can feel good about living life, have a good outlook on life, and be a wonderful person to be around as a result. Worrying is the worst use of your imagination. I’ll give you this before I leave. Let’s say you’re driving down a highway and you hear a pop, a loud pop, and you’re like, “Oh, damn it, I got a flat.”

So you park on the side of the road and then check your trunk, and you see you don’t have a jack. So you look around and say, “Oh, there’s a house down the road. I have to walk pretty far, but it looks like they have their lights on, they have cars, they probably have a garage, they probably have a jack, or if you have a Tesla, they probably have a puck and a jack.”

So you start walking over there and say, “Hey, maybe they can help me.” And you start imagining, “What if they’re having a dinner or get-together, a solemn party, and I interrupt them, and they get angry at me?” And then you walk, and you walk, and then you imagine, “What if they’re asleep, and I wake them up in the middle of the night, or middle of their sleep early in the night? What if they’re praying, and I interrupt them? What if they kick me out? What if they get angry? What if they start pulling a gun out at me?”

And you walk and you walk, and your negative thoughts fester. And then you nervously knock at the door, and then you hear some footsteps, and then an old lady with a big smile on her face says, “Hey, how can I help? Is there something I can help you with?” And then you say, “Keep your f*cking jack!” and walk away.

Worrying is the worst use of your imagination.

You can supplant worry with planning. Planning says, “If this happens, I’ll do this; if that happens, I’ll do that.” And you can manage your state so you can receive information, you can experience things with planning, with positive outlooks in life, with a well-meaning and good demeanor, so you can be a happy individual regardless of your circumstances and be a nice person, a fun person to be around.

What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments! Share this blog post with others and help make the world a better place for all of us!

3 Shocking Hidden Signs of Jealousy In Your Relationship And What To Do

3 Shocking Signs of Jealousy Hidden in Relationships – Discover What You and Your Partner Can’t See

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Off the top of my head, what are some common signs of jealousy in your relationship? I’m going to give you three common signs of jealousy manifesting in your relationship that you may not perceive, and your partner may not perceive, as jealousy but, in fact, demonstrably it is absolutely jealousy. So, the first thing we have to consider is: What is jealousy? For you to know what jealousy is and how it portrays itself in your relationship, remember this: jealousy is always a compounded emotion. It’s not a primary emotion; it’s a compounded one. The first emotion is fear of loss. The second emotion is the rage you feel because of that fear of loss. Now, any behavior in your relationship where you have rage because of fear of loss, you have to look into that emotion, whether it’s your own emotion or your partner’s emotions, and recognize where that jealousy is coming from. Jealousy is, if you were to say, “If I give my beloved the choice, the freedom to choose, he or she may not choose me,” and so inevitably you feel fear of loss and, secondarily, you feel the rage from that fear of loss, ensuing the behaviors that demonstrate itself as jealousy.

Video transcript:

Revealed: The #1 Relationship Killer! Is Your Love Really Codependency in Disguise?

So, what are these behaviors? Off the top of my head, the three things I can come up with—I can only come up with three at the moment because I’m limited to 10 minutes in these videos—number one, very important, very common, is codependency. Codependency is a term used primarily in addiction circles where people facilitate other people’s addictions, so they become codependent with each other. Now, when you think of addiction, you probably think of drugs. Let me ask you a question: Are there any vices which are addictions? Of course, vices are things that you would consider not good. So, anything that’s not good, in which you are addicted or you demonstrate it repeatedly, consistently, and without intervention, you repeat it ongoingly, is an addiction. So, without needing to talk about drugs, can you be codependent in your relationship? Can people facilitate other people’s vices? They become codependent, and so the relationship style that I encourage you to have is what I refer to as co-independent relationships. Rather than you facilitate other people’s dependency on their addictions, you facilitate your partner’s independency.

Trapped by Love? The Surprising Truth About Ownership and Independence in Relationships

So, in relationships where there’s jealousy because it’s primarily based on jealousy, it’s primarily based on ownership. “Hey, you’re mine; you’re granted to me.” Tragically, they base their relationships on, “I grant myself to you exclusively, in exchange for your granting yourself to me exclusively.” And now we inevitably are taken for granted; we inevitably grant each other and inevitably feel taken for granted. So, they facilitate their partners’ dependency on them rather than facilitating their freedom, rather than facilitating the things that will actualize them where they need not be involved. You understand? When my friends come to me, and they need something, I find ways so that they can become independent of me, so they can facilitate those things, so they can do those things independently of me. Whether it’s I show them some resources, some videos that would teach them, or I do it myself and I encourage them to watch me, so they can learn how to do it next time they want to do it themselves. Or, I can help them do it, train them on it, and then they go do it themselves. I give them a hand up rather than a handout, so they can become independent of me. I don’t want them to rely on me; I want them to rely on me that they can depend on me. I don’t want them to rely on me that they can look to me whenever they need help because they can’t do it themselves. I want them to become independent, so whether or not I’m involved, they’re able to be free, they’re able to do, they’re able to become happy, and live a big life whether or not I’m involved. And so, this gives me a tremendous feeling that I’m involved in their life because they want me to be there, not because they need me to be there. There’s a huge distinction.

Are You Being Held Back? How Jealousy Secretly Sabotages Your Success and Health

Number two thing is discouragement. They discourage you from doing the things that actualize you, that make you happy, whether it’s pursuing a career, whether it’s pursuing something that you like, that you want, pursuing a hobby, whether it’s spending time alone for yourself, whether it’s spending time with your friends, things that actualize you. Actualization is when you’re doing things that get you closer to your goal. Actualization is bringing things into fruition; it’s actualizing the goal that you have in mind, the thing that you want, actualizing nearer and nearer until it’s fully actualized. The third thing is discouraging healthy behaviors, whether it’s healthy eating, a healthy diet, healthy mannerisms, healthy social behavior, discouraging them from it because of codependency, so they can become dependent on you, so that they can have no more options. Remember, always, jealousy is “If I gave my beloved choice, they may not choose me.” While me, I’m different. I encourage them to have more and more choices. In fact, I’m going to help them have more choices by becoming more healthy, eating better, developing healthy behaviors, healthy habits, becoming more successful in life, and doing things that are closer and closer to what actualizes them, whether or not I’m involved, and introducing them to people that would help them do those things, encouraging healthy habits, and healthy behaviors.

What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments! Share this blog post with others and help make the world a better place for all of us!

Unlock the secret to unstoppable social interaction success Demeanor is your hidden power

The One Thing More Crucial Than Strategy: Discover the Power of Demeanor

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There’s something much more important than strategy, and that is demeanor. I’m going to show you what demeanor is and what it entails. There are a lot of strategies when it comes to talking to people better, networking with people, better organizing and managing, and succeeding in your business, having better relationships, having better sex, having better interactions with your customers, friends, colleagues, coworkers, business partners, random people, and those in your network on your social media. There are lots of different strategies for you to interact with them better, communicate with them better, influence them better, get the deal better.

Video transcript:

How to Talk, Network, and Influence Like a Pro: Strategies Revealed

But the most important thing, and the thing that will give you a lot of confidence anywhere, even if you’re thrust into a new situation with a new person, in a new location, in a place you’ve never been before, in an activity you’ve never done before, with a person whom you’ve never interacted before, and you don’t know how they will interact with you, you don’t know whether they’ll become significant to you or not significant to you at all, you don’t know if they’re going to become an asset or a burden to you, you can have sublime confidence in that. I talk a lot about confidence in other videos, but here what I want to talk about is something called demeanor.

Negotiation Secrets from the Relationship Guru: Get What You Want, Every Time

Let’s begin with this: When it comes to Enlightenment, remember that Enlightenment is not meditating for seven years on some mountain by yourself so you can reach enlightenment. Enlightenment, in its metaphorical, literal, figurative definition, is to unburden yourself, to enlighten yourself, to take the load off things that weigh on you, to shed light on something, to enlighten something you can’t see previously, and now you can see because you’ve shed light on it. In any format, figure of speech, or literal sense that you take enlightenment, it is to unburden yourself.

The Scientific Method for Personal Growth: Think Critically, Live Better

When it comes to unburdening people, when it comes to unburdening yourself, some people might get angry because, “Hey, that’s not what I’ve been taught; that’s not what my ego thinks; that’s not what I’ve previously learned.” And this is why we follow the scientific method. The scientific method is not listening to a bunch of people who claim to be scientists, who claim to have a study on something. The scientific method is taking something which is theory, putting it into practice, and seeing what pans out, seeing what’s repeatable. And when it comes to philosophy, the scientific method is what we call critical thinking, because some things that can’t be put into practice have to be critically thought of philosophically.

Enlightenment Demystified: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom!

So, one of the aspects of Enlightenment to unburden yourself begins with unsettling yourself because a lot of the things that you thought you knew are actually completely different, are actually things that are completely opposite of what you previously thought or what you’ve previously been taught. So, you will become unsettled first before you become enlightened.

Confidence Unleashed: The Bold Approach to Facing Any Situation

One of the aspects of Enlightenment is self-appreciation. You’ve been taught, “Hey, you have to appear confident for you to be confident,” but actually, confidence is what you can rely upon to be true. Confidence without experience is arrogance. Did you hear that? Confidence without experience is arrogance. There is no confidence without experience because confidence without experience is arrogance. Confidence is what you can rely upon to be true.

The Unsettling Truth: How to Flip Your Understanding and Achieve Enlightenment

If you can’t rely upon it to be true, you can’t be confident about it. Take any circumstance where you had to bet your money that this thing is true. How much are you willing to bet? How much of your income are you willing to bet that something is true? If you’re willing to bet a lot of money over something which you have no experience or data that you know for certain it’s going to happen, it is arrogance. You don’t actually need confidence to enter into any experience so you can be perceived as someone who’s confident. More important than any skill you can learn, any strategy when it comes to influencing people better, having better relationships, doing better in your business, communicating with people better, getting better deals, better negotiations, much more important than your confidence so that people can perceive you as someone who’s confident, is your demeanor. And your demeanor comprises something called enlightenment self-appreciation.

The Art of Self-Esteem: How to Estimate Yourself Correctly and Win in Life

Self-appreciation is the confluence, the combination of self-confidence, which you can rely upon to be true, and this idea of self-appreciation. Self-confidence is your confidence about yourself, and no one knows you better than you. When you’ve got self-confidence which you can rely upon to be true, without any bogusness, without any pretending, without communicating with people to pretend to be someone you’re not, you match your self-confidence with your self-estimation. Your self-esteem is what you estimate of yourself. Your self-estimation, if what you estimate about yourself, is aligned with what you can rely upon to be true, what you’re self-confident about. If you inappropriately estimate, you’re going to be in a world of hurt. You’re going to be disappointed every time. But if you estimate exactly what you can prove to yourself demonstrably to be true, you can demonstrate to yourself to be true, you have something called self-appreciation.

Self-Appreciation: The Ultimate Attractiveness Hack

There’s nothing more attractive than someone who appreciates themselves, in other words, someone who understands themselves and does not have to prove anything to anyone. And that is my demeanor when I approach anything. My demeanor is that I know who I am, I know what I can provide. I’m not going to pretend to provide something which I don’t know if I can provide or I’m not prepared to provide. I’m not going to pretend to be someone I’m not. I’m going to be who I am. There are things I know, there are a lot of things that I don’t know, but I’m willing to learn if I’m interested. And that’s what gives you the demeanor of someone who is utterly, sublimely, attractively self-confident.

What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments! Share this blog post with others and help make the world a better place for all of us!

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