Understanding Open Relationships

An open relationship is a relationship that’s not closed in any way, especially when it comes to love. You might even consider it open love. The truth is, it’s about unconditional love—your genuine desire and wanting for your beloved’s happiness, well-being, and actualization.

Some common misconceptions about open relationships are that they’re the same as polyamory. Actually, polyamory is a closed relationship. A polyamorous relationship is closed because, while you have multiple partners, you are not encouraged to pursue things that you find fulfilling, enjoyable, or thrilling, whether it’s an activity or a person.

The ethical considerations for open relationships involve recognizing what constitutes a good relationship. A good relationship is determined by its constituents. What I mean is that what’s good in a relationship depends solely on the purpose of that relationship. My contention is that if you’re an individual who presumes the relationship you’re in is about love, then you have to found your relationship based on love. Unfortunately, this is not the case for most people. Most people base their relationships on property without knowing it. They simply follow societal expectations or whatever they’ve been taught.

The Fundamentals of Good Relationships

Let’s define what a good relationship is. A good relationship is one that’s founded and adheres to the purpose of that relationship. For example, if you are marrying for the benefits of marriage, including recognizing that marriage is not about love, but about real estate, childbearing, networking, etc., and you don’t have cognitive dissonance—meaning you don’t want love or expect love in the relationship—then for you, it’s a good relationship.

Challenges in Traditional Relationships

The challenge of entering a relationship is that most people do so unwittingly. People don’t know what they’re getting into when they get into relationships. It’s like signing a 100-page contract without knowing what you’re signing. This is a very appropriate comparison. People go into relationships not knowing what they’re entering. This is why my course exists.

People don’t recognize that marriage is actually an arranged relationship. It’s arranged in the sense that you are making arrangements, signing contracts, and basing your relationship on those conditions.

Facilitating Unconditional Love

It’s very important for you to recognize what unconditional love is. Unconditional love is love without conditions. For example, a mother loves her child unconditionally because despite their lifestyle or whatever they might do—whether it’s ethical or unethical, attractive or unattractive, even heinous—she may still love them unconditionally. A lot of people don’t believe unconditional love exists, but it does. By my definition, unconditional love is your genuine desire and wanting for your beloved’s happiness intrinsically tied to your own happiness. What does that mean? Just as the most important thing for you is your own happiness, you want that for them.

Practical Steps to Support Open Relationships

Here are some action items for you to have fulfilling open relationships.

1. Communicate with your beloved candidly and openly. Tell them that you believe in open communication and that unconditional love is your genuine wanting for their happiness, well-being, and actualization. Support them in whatever makes them feel fulfilled and happy, regardless of whether or not you’re involved.

2. Empower and equip your beloved to pursue what makes them feel fulfilled, happy, and actualized. Doing the opposite demonstrates that you don’t actually love them unconditionally.

3. Make it clear that you will not emotionally, physically, or psychologically manipulate or punish them after the fact.

By following these steps, you can foster a more supportive and loving relationship.