So, I’ll give you an analogy of how that makes sense to some people. It might make sense to you in this way: that question is like asking somebody who’s afraid of heights if it’s possible for them to jump off of a plane with a bag of silk on their back and trust that the bag will open up when they need it, when they pull the lever. I recognize that’s difficult. They might believe it’s impossible, but recognize that a lot of things, say, there are a lot of things in your life, most everything in your life, you once did not know how to do. I want you to think about that. There was a time in your life when a lot of things that you now take for granted or never even think about, you once did not know how to do, and in fact, a lot of it, you had a tremendous fear of doing. Let me give you an example: There was a time in your life when you didn’t know how to drive. Isn’t that crazy? Can you imagine not knowing how to drive? Well, you once were that person. Now, you don’t even think about it. You can’t even imagine yourself not being able to drive; it’s so first nature, so natural. It requires enlightenment; it requires a little bit of skill.

The Destructive Nature of Jealousy

So, this question: Is it possible to have a relationship without jealousy? It’s like asking a person who’s afraid of heights if it’s possible for them to jump off of a plane, trusting a bag of silk, and when they pull the lever, it’ll open up and land them safely. So, how do you enlighten yourself and get yourself to a point where a relationship has no jealousy? Firstly, why is it important to have a relationship with no jealousy? Why is it important? It’s because jealousy is heinous; it is evil. In fact, statistically, about 80 to 90% of murders committed are from jealousy. Think about that: 80 to 90% of murders committed from jealousy. So why is it so evil? Because jealousy is a compounded emotion of two emotions. It’s not a primary emotion; it’s a compounded emotion of fear of loss, compounded with the rage you feel from feeling that fear of loss. Once you get that combination going, you now have something called jealousy.

Challenging Societal Norms and Redefining Love

Now, why is jealousy so contradictory to love? I want you to think about this: A lot of people imagine that you can’t have love without jealousy. Let me ask you a question: Do you believe that those people believe that without question? In other words, they didn’t use critical thinking or critical reasoning to come to that conclusion. They just believe it’s supposed to be that way because that’s what society has taught us. So, I want you to ask yourself: Do you recognize what love is? First of all, do you want a relationship fundamentally based on loving that person? In other words, you have a relationship with that person because you love them.

The True Essence of Love and Its Incompatibility with Jealousy

Now, let’s say you want to build a relationship because you love them, so you want to make it fundamentally based on love, nothing else, just love. Now, this is not traditional. People imagine it is, but traditionally, relationships, partnerships with people, marriages between people, traditional boyfriend-girlfriend relationships are conventional; they are taught to you. This is how it’s supposed to be. It has nothing to do with love and everything to do with other things like real estate, property ownership, control, status, wealth, network building, a bigger and bigger network, passing on your land, your real estate, your wealth. You know, when you die, you bring nothing with you; you’ve got to pass it on somehow.

Defining Love on Your Own Terms

So, it’ll make more sense to you when I explain to you this: Love, by my definition, remember that words have no meaning. You have to give words meaning for them to have meaning, and everybody has different meanings, even in the most banal of words. Let me give you an example: Love. What’s your definition of love? I guarantee you, every person you ask what their definition of Love is, they’ll have a different definition. Here’s the best one: Love is your wanting for your beloved’s happiness intrinsic to your own, the same way of saying the same happiness you want for yourself, you want that for your beloved. Jealousy is a demonstration of your lack of love. You get it now, because if your beloved were to pursue something or someone that makes them happy, and then you feel jealousy and the rage from feeling that fear of loss, you are now preventing them or going to do something to prevent them, whether it’s consciously or unconsciously, from pursuing the things that make them happy. You understand? Your demonstration of jealousy is your demonstration of your lack of love. The more you love them, the more you want for their happiness. This is the enlightenment required for you to have relationships without jealousy.

Enlightenment and Self-Observation: The Path to a Jealousy-Free Relationship

I’ll end it here: Observe yourself when you feel jealousy, observe yourself when you feel the fear of loss, and then the rage you feel from that feeling. That fear of loss is what jealousy is. There is no such thing as jealousy without those two things.