How To Be Happy With Who You Are and What You Do
Uncovering The Lies About Happiness and Personal Freedom
Did you know that you grew up believing 2 lies told to you by “grown-ups” that stop you from being happy?
About the Author: Rone John is the founder of Great Relationships University, owner of Tantra Therapy Las Vegas, Author of Relationships 101, 13+ years dating & relationships consultant and former professional Dominatrix.
To have something as sublime; is to
- have something with such grandeur and beauty that it’s awed and admired or,
- a high degree of moral, spiritual purity, or excellence.
“Sublime Happiness” is pure, unadulterated, admirable and grand happiness.
2 Lies You’re Told About Happiness
As you were growing up, you were told 2 lies about happiness:
- that “happiness” was something you have to work hard to get. The more you suffer, the bigger the happiness that you’ll get.
All the gurus and the social media influencers will tell you you’re not good enough (so buy their product).
They’ll tell you you’re not getting what you want in life because you’re not working hard enough.
Think about this: most inventions were created because people want to do things easier. In the 1930’s, John Atanasoff built the first digital computer. He said, “I was too lazy so I built a computer.”
Here’s the Truth: you can be happy NOW just by deciding to. And you can be happy ON THE WAY to going after your goals.
The Second Lie You’re Told
2. that you’ll only become happy after you get success.
This is the reason you hear people say:
I’ll be happy WHEN ____________
They say things like, “I’ll be happy when I get the dream job,” “I’ll be happy when I get the dream partner,” “I’ll be happy when I make my first million dollars,” “I’ll be happy when I get that gig.”
And then YOU know A LOT of people who have all those things that still kill themselves, are depressed, hate their lives, etc.
We call those THINGS, the “Trappings of success”.
We call them trappings of success because they don’t actually make you happy but they definitely can make you miserable just by having to keep up with the image of having them.
How To Really Be Happy
Happiness is a choice. It’s something you can be RIGHT NOW just by CHOOSING to be happy.
Think about this: You can’t fake happiness!
You can smile and make everyone looking at you think you’re having a good time.
But happiness, you can’t fake.
If you try to fake happiness, that moment you’re feeling the feeling of happiness, even if it’s just in that moment… that’s real happiness.
Then you realize, you were happy because you chose to be.
And you can CHOOSE to be happy ALL the time! When you are happy all the time, even when bad things are happening around you, then you are “enlightenedly” happy!
How To Be Happy Being You
There are 3 ways most people are validated (and there’s a 4th more powerful way that is more rare).
- recognition or affirmation that a person or their feelings or opinions are valid or worthwhile.
In other words, to validation is when you feel something is valid, valued and worthwhile.
SELF-VALIDATION is when you feel you’re valid, valued and worthwhile.
The 3 ways people get validated are:
- The Follower Type – is validated when they do what they’re told (they do what they’re supposed to do)… then they feel valid, valued and worthwhile.
The problem with the follower is if you play by other people’s rules, you can never win. Followers have no control over their life because how they feel about themselves is dictated by the rules other people give.
2. The “Leader” Type – is validated when they others do what they tell them.
The problem with the leader type is if people stop following them (or getting likes, hearts, comments on their posts) they lose their sense of self-validation. They’re not actually in control of their life!
3. The misfit – doesn’t get validated by doing what they’re told or other people following them.
The “Self-Validated” Person
Then there’s the 4th kind of person: The “Independent”.
This person is validated only by the results of their decisions. They don’t care for the validation or the negativity from others.
No one else can say they’re valid or not valid, valued or not, worthwhile or not. Only they validate themselves.
They get their validation from the outcomes of their decisions. If they make mistakes, they’re validated from it and learn how not to do something. When they get the outcome they wanted or better, they’re happy and validated by that!
For you to be happy being you, and doing what you do, you only have to know 2 things:
- You have a good reason doing what you do and being who you are, and
- You are validated by no one else but yourself. When you make a mistake, you’re validated by the lesson you get from it.
And you do all of this while choosing to be happy!
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